これぞ、担当講師が全ての項目でexcellentをつけたエッセイです!


バリューイングリッシュには、英検2級と準1級のライティング対策講座がございます。今回の英検で、準1級に合格されたO様はライティング講座と二次試験対策講座の両方をご受講いただきました。O様のライティングは毎回とてもまとまりのある文章で、すごいな~と感心していました。掲載の許可をいただきましたので、担当講師が全ての項目でexcellentをつけたエッセイをご紹介させていただきます!これから準1級を受験される方はぜひ参考にしてくださいね。

TOPIC

Agree or disagree:
People should spend more leisure time for activities than taking slow time.

POINTS

learning / health benefits / wasting time / family time

Student’s Answer

I do not agree that people should spend more leisure time for activities than taking slow time. I think both are important, and I have two reasons why I feel so.

First, leisure activities, such as learning new things and having family time, are the most vital things to bring the positive energy. They reduce our daily stress and improve the quality of our lives. Thus, they are essential to our mental and physical health.

Second, taking slow time is not wasting time, and it is also significant to clear our mind. Life is not a race, and we do not need to rush our way to our grave. Furthermore, by relaxing, we can enjoy each moment of our lives resulting to a greater joy.

Therefore, I strongly believe that the balance is the key, and both are very important for a healthier and happier lifestyle. (146 words)

実際のフィードバックは、この後に分析と間違い箇所の指摘等が入りますが、今日はそれを割愛してsugegested essayをご紹介させていただきます。

SUGGESTED ESSAY BASED ON ORIGINAL IDEA

I do not agree that people should spend more leisure time for activities compared to taking time slow. I think both are necessary and here are two points why I think so.

First, positive energy can be more released and achieved when we learn new things, spend time with family and enjoy leisure activities. These can reduce daily stress and improve our lives’s quality. Therefore, these are important to safeguard our physical and mental health.

Second, taking time slow is actually not wasting time. This is essential to help clear our mind from worries. Taking one day at a time can help us relax and enjoy. After all, life is not a race and the more we hurry, the more we get clogged and stressed.

That is why I strongly believe that balancing both leisure time and taking time slow is important for a healthier and happier lifestyle. (147 words)

いかがでしたか。ライティングは書いて人に見てもらうことが重要です。アドバイスをもらっていくうちにコツを掴んで必ず上達していきますので、ぜひバリューイングリッシュで一緒に学習してみませんか。

準1級のライティング講座の詳細及びお申し込みは、こちらからお願いします。

2級のライティング講座の詳細及びお申し込みは、こちらからお願いします。

また、準1級のライティング講座を【高校のライティングの試験対策として】ご利用いただいたり、【仕事で英文を書くのでスキルアップのために】とご受講いただいている方もいらっしゃいます。英検に即した問題ですが、英検だけでなく幅広い目的でご利用いただいている人気のライティング講座ですので、ぜひご利用ください。