バリューイングリッシュでは、学長が認定する形で講師を選抜し ライティング対策講座を受けもらっています。正直申し上げて、英検準１級までは自信を持ってオススメできますが、英検１級のライティングでは少し不安もございます。もちろん開講する以上、IELTS 7.0以上のライティングに相応しい採点ができているか？学長自らチェックしております。但し、合格するに十分なライティングを身に付けていただくことはできますが、「完璧」な英文を作成することを目的とした講座ではないことはご留意ください。当校を活用いただき英検準１級に合格された受講生からの強い要望をいただいており、この度開講の運びとなりました。
Should developed nations encourage immigration from other countries?
It has been highly controversial whether or not developed nations should encourage immigration from other countries. In United States, there are numerous illegal immigrants across the country, and it has put U.S. in trouble. Therefore, it would be necessary to enact sound regulations and to prevent illegal immigrants and overpopulation which could result in stagnant economy. However, considering realization of world prosperity, securing workforce in a cost-efficient way, and technological benefits of multiculturalism, I’m confident that developed nations should proactively accept immigration from other countries.
Firstly,accepting immigration from third nations will ensure the immigrants’ welfare. As developed countries have a large amount of food, sharing it with people from third countries could decrease the gap between the rich and the poor. That would make it possible to realize global stabilization and prosperity.
Secondly, in the long run, it can be difficult for aging nations with low birth rate such as Japan to maintain enough workers in every industry. However, if they employ competent experts from other countries, they can develop high-level productivity with low personnel expenses. Consequently, it would facilitate further advancement of the countries.
Lastly, allowing immigration from other countries would make the receptionist nations multicultural. In general, in societies with various ethnic groups, people see things in such a different way that it is possible to accomplish revolutionary invention and advance technology. Indeed, U.S. has made a variety of accomplishments and contributed to advancement of technology.
For the above three reasons, I strongly think that developed nations should encourage immigration from other countries. (256 words)
The overall content of this essay was rated excellent because of the following:
A. Stance: The stance was clear and strong.
B. Sentence flow and transition: The flow of the sentences was smooth. The paragraphs were well developed with the use of transition words and phrases marking the beginning and end of every thought as well as the shift of ideas from one to another.
C. Relevance of supporting details: There were three supporting details backed with given, common facts.
D. Grammar Correction: Sentences were also free of grammar errors.
E. Relevance of vocabulary: The vocabulary used was in the right context of what the writer wanted to convey.
1. world prosperity
2. securing workforce in a cost-efficient way
3. technological benefits of multiculturalism
Be brief when writing your introduction. It should be catchy yet factual. This is where “exordium” comes in. you have to write something that will get the attention of your readers since this essay should be more than 200 words. Take note that the introduction plays an important part because this can have an impact whether or not your readers find your work interesting or not. This is also the part where you write your points that will be discussed in the next paragraphs. To avoid confusion, discuss your points in order according to its relevance.
SUGGESTED ESSAY BASED ON ORIGINAL IDEA
Migration has been a growing trend especially for those who are from developing countries. However, the subject has been highly controversial as to whether or not developed countries should encourage it. In the case of the U.S., the country has seen a lot of trouble catering to migrants dreaming to be in the land of the free. However, considering realization of world prosperity, securing workforce in a cost-efficient way, and technological benefits of multiculturalism, I agree that developed nations should proactively accept immigration from other countries.
First, global stabilization and world prosperity will be realized if developed countries encourage immigration. Those who come from developing nations will have higher chances of getting more than enough food in particular given the abundance from that of the third countries. Thus, the gap between the rich and the poor is bridged.
Second, a stable, cost-efficient workforce is essential for a country to maintain is economy. For instance, an economically strong country like Japan is in dire need of people given its rising aging population. This means encouraging competent people to migrant will also alleviate the condition without compromising productivity.
Third, as the world is vast space for everybody, encouraging immigration will let everyone learn and discover the diversity of cultures. This means a better understanding of ethnicity that would hopefully lead to respecting one another more while reaping technological benefits.
Thus, I strongly think that developed nations should encourage immigration from other countries. (240 words)